This post is birthed out of a long-time personal struggle of being at odds internally with the person I understand God has created me to be and the person I see myself becoming versus the person my history shows I was and what my family history dictates I should be.
At odds is probably a nice way to put it. Honestly, it has been a mental and emotional attack and battle that I am fighting hard to keep at bay. There is greatness (it's God, not me) associated with who I am becoming and the heights God is taking me to, yet I can still hear the faint whisper of the enemy reminding me of where I came from and who I used to be.
I used to be...I used to be so many things. Broken. Angry. Insecure. Bitter. Mean. Manipulative. Lustful. Selfish. Depressed. Anxious. Suicidal. Argumentative. Petty. Rude. Childish. Controlling. Cold. I was an absolute mess.
Not to mention that there are generational curses that have been within both sides of my family for decades. Traumas and behavior patterns such as domestic violence, substance abuse, and divorce that have ravaged my family and become the norm so to speak.
And over the years, as I looked at the mess I was and the familial dysfunction I came from, I began to resolve that who I presently was, was who I was always going to be. I began to ascribe to the narrative that the dysfunction I came from would ultimately manifest in my life too.
I remember as I found myself in an abusive relationship (after swearing up and down for years that I'd never let a man put a hand on me) and then found myself existing as a borderline functioning alcoholic just a couple of years later (which honestly seemed to sneak up on me in the social culture of college), I had this overwhelming feeling that I had run into the inevitable. That despite my deepest desires and what I thought were my best efforts, I had become or fallen into what was always bound to happen. My anxiety peaked as I noted all the ways I had embraced the negatives of my family legacy and I began to fear what else I would end up walking into.
I became discouraged by who I was and what I came from. But rather than facing that past and present head on and turning it over to Jesus, I ignored it at a conscious level which turned into a subconscious embrace of the very things I did not want. Tip: Whatever you do not address will manifest. I was burdened by the notion that I couldn't or wouldn't break free from the chains that had kept my family and I down for so long.
But here's a powerful truth-
You are not bound to your genetics. You do not have to accept what has been as what will always be.
When you are adopted into God's Kingdom as His child through salvation, you are given new DNA. DNA is the carrier of genetic information which determines what a thing will be and what unique characteristics or qualities it will possess. Your salvation breaks your wordly tie and gives you the genetic code of Christ. This means His characteristics, His nature, His qualities, and His identity are passed onto you.
God's identity trumps any identity given to you by your family, this world, or any other influential factor. The future God destined for you trumps the future your family history says you will have.
Who you become and what becomes of your life is determined by what you decide to come into agreement with.
It's not the fact that women in your family have always ended up divorced that means you'll end up divorced. It's your decision to accept that narrative as truth that will manifest that outcome in your life. It wasn't that women in my family had a history of getting involved in abusive relationships that led me into an abusive relationship. It was my subconscious choice to embrace that past which made it a part of my present.
You can be the broken link in the chain of dysfunction that keeps toxic family cycles from continuing to persist. Why? Because the saving grace of God has broken the chains of sin in your life. Your aren't bound to addiction or anger issues or unhealthy relationships because God broke the chains of that bondage when He died on the cross.
So the question is, what will you choose to come into agreement with?
Will you choose to surrender to your projected future based on your family's past, or will you ascribe to the future God has outlined for you in His Word? Will you adopt the negative identity, traits, mindsets, and behaviors your family has embraced for so long, or will you adopt the identity Christ has given you and allow his character to manifest in you?
I've chosen the latter of those two options. Every time I hear the voice of the enemy attempting to remind me of who I was and where I came from, I remind him who God says I am and where God is taking me. I refuse to let Satan rob me of the joy of this journey I am now on with God by using my past against me. My latter will be greater because I said so, and most importantly because God said so.